When the sun sets beyond the horizon

Year 1 at Innova Junior College just ended.
Which means, gotta prepare for the big battle that determines my future. Sighh...
GO GO GO!!!

Fatin: Hey Syaf, you want sweet?
Syafiqah: *Stare at it for awhile, then took it*
Syafiqah: Eh nice ah. What sweet is this?
Fatin: *Shows sweet's container*
.
. 1 Minute later....
Syafiqah: Oh my god, FATIN! Aku puasa! (I'm FASTING)
Fatin: OH MY GOD!! HAHAHAHAHA!
Syafiqah: Tissue tissue!

NCC Dining-In and Graduation Night is coming up.
Which means DRESS. And you know that I hate to wear dress!
Looks like I really have to go hunt for a dress now.

Ok, knee is starting to hurt. Not sure if it's straining the knee. Or the screw in it.
And no lah, I'm not going back to Physiotherapy. Tsk, paiseh man if I were to.
But I still miss my physiotherapists, Bambang and Pauline.

On Wednesday, there was an Educational Trip to Pulau Tekong so as to familiarize with the importance of National Service. Pretty amazing there. Everything seems to be better now as compared to last time.
We tried the Individual Marksmanship Training (IMT). It's be looooooooooooooooooong since I last had my hands laid on the M16 rifle. But it seems to be lighter now! HAHAHA XP Had shots on the Fig 12. I'm proud to say that I once WAS a marksman. But now, my shots seems to be as big as an elephant's butt. HAHA!
"Firers, Own time own target, carry on"

Two NS personal asked "So are you planning to sign on?"
Honestly, I really have no idea. The idea of me signing on was being objected by my family when I asked them last year during my 56th Cadet Officer Course. "You are a girl. Let the boys settle it. It would be better if you help Mum instead," was what my 1st brother said.
Plus, I don't think I am that compatible as compared to the boys. Their strength is probably trice of mine. Well, we'll see about that...

It's very relaxing to just sit down alone and watch a tranquil scene.
Unwinding at East Coast Park was breath taking. Plus, manage to watch the sun set.


Sunset at East Coast Park
(It took me more than 10 tries to upload this photo)

I still have mosquito bites scars from the Adventure Camp at Jalan Bahtera. What kind of mosquito live there man?

I can't wait for this Tuesday!
And I WANT TO WATCH NEW MOON!
Not because I'm a Twilight addict or something. But because of Taylor Lautner!
Wooo~~

FUN!! RAH RAH RAH!!

So the FUN STUFFS are here!!!

So J1 Adventure Camp was fun fun fun! I got so hyped-up. And every single day there's bound to be some silly stuffs happening.

1st day - Land Expedition, Night Activity
Land Ex was pretty tiring and boring. Aside from that, me and Nas kept singing the song "When the cold wind blows". Encountered with big wild dogs, and Cheryl was kind enough to stand by us so as to protect us from them. So cute!

Michelle: *Talk to me and Nas about something*
Michelle: Ok, i see you all later. I wanna run infront. I don't wanna be last. Hahaha!
Nas: Hahaha! She got a point there!
Fatin: Nice spirit there Michelle.

We saw big wild dogs guarding the farms, and it barked loudly.
Khai Jhin: Eh Fatin, even the dogs are bigger than you you know!
The rest of the guys: Hahahaha!
Fatin: Weii... so bad.

Then went back, washed up and ate dinner. Sang Campfire song and halfway through it, Syaf was kidnapped. HAHA! Had the Kidnapped activity and boy, the search party is actually of no use. Cos, we can never find where it is. Surprisingly, our group emerge first. Thanks to lucky numbers and strong guys to carry Noval back.

2nd day- Sea Expedition, Stationed Games, Campfire!!!
Early in the morning I was already being embarrassed. I actually went up the wrong hut. What's worse was I went into the BOYS HUT belonged to some other schools. Haizz, extremely embarrassing please.

Breakfast, we had Nasi Lemak and Milo. It's pretty rare to have a heavy meal in the morning. So, my stomach didn't feel good. What's worse was the first activity is Sea Expedition. Luckily, a few minutes before kayaking, I rushed to the toilet and PHEW! It feels good ^^

Kayaked with Nasiruddin. Had my own entertainment behind because he kept singing (which explains why it rained so heavily after that XP). We challenged ourselves to overtake people. Wahaha! Pretty fun!

Then once I kayaked so hard, the water splash to him.

Nas: Fatin! I can't see! Pedih pedih!
Fatin: Eh, okay anot? Why?
Nas: You ah, splash water till kena my eye.
Fatin: Eh eh! Sorry sorry! Can see anot now?
.
.
Nas: My eyes pain ah..
Someone from another kayak: Why?
Nas: Kena salt water uh. What's worse is your own team mate splash it to you!
Fatin: Hahahaha! Sorry uh... :(

We splashed water at each other. Once we splashed to Michelle and Cheryl and then Instructor Kelvin said: Eh, stop playing! Catch up with other first then can play!

Then after I went down from the kayak to push it to the shore,

Instructor: Hey, girl, walk and push to the shore kay. Walk and push.
Fatin: *Tries to reach the ground while in water* I can't touch the ground. *Swim a few centremeters more*
Instructor: Can now?
Fatin: No..
Instructor: Eh.. jangan bedek lah.. mesti boleh nye! (Eh, don't lie lah, confirm can one!)
Nas: Wait till you see she stand later, you will understand why.
Fatin: Weii Nas!!

Showered, lunched and taught body combat.
Since it rained, we play this blind thingy and the MRT game.

So when I was blindfolded,
Nadia: Eh ok Fatin, can you hear me. Kay walk straight, just walk straight.
Fatin: Ok, walk straight... *BANG!*
Fatin: Ouchh......
Background: Hahahahahaha! Awwww!

Haha, I banged into the pillar and boy it hurts. It felt like my whole brain was shaking. Nyahaha!
So after dinner had Campfire.

The campfire item set up by each group was funny, cool, lame, etc.
One of the items set up by one of the class had one of the girl trying to mimick a heart beat; "Poop poop, poop poop, poop poop"

Then..
Jinhui: Eh Fatin, she calling you! PUTT PUTT!
Fatin: Wahlao wayy..
I.Kelvin: Huh? I don't understand.
Fatin: Cos my name is Fatin. So it sounds like FARTING.
I.Kelvin: Ohhh. Hahaha!

During the campfire, Instructor Kelvin tried to squeeze to seat between me and Michelle.

Fatin: Eh, squeezy lah.. You very big you know.
I.Kelvin: Well at least I don't fart.
Fatin: Tsk! Weii... You very bad leh.

The talk by Chief Jeremy was touching. The campfire was shiok seriously. It's been long since I was the participant of it.

3rd day- Clean up, low elements
Had breakfast and cleaned up the canteen.

Harbinder: Fatin don't know how to sweep.
Fatin: Hey, I know okay.
Harbinder: Who sweep with 2 hands one.
Fatin: faster what...
Harbinder: 1 hand faster lahh..
Fatin: Tskk..

And every activity of low elements, I will be the first few to go first because of my height and weight. Psshh..

So took photos, and had lunch together.
Said our last goodbye to Instructor Kelvin (Ah Huat) and we went off with a learning point in mind. What is it, that's up to each individual.

Camp was extremely fun, I want to go again.
Now, can I go OBS pleasee???

Why am I so weak?

I'm such a weakling.
I've tried, it failed.
It's true what they said; It's impossible to change things the way it is.
High hopes, determined to start anew, but everything went to waste.
It defeated the whole purpose, I just broke down and cried on how I've failed.
Well, let's just say, I had given up.

Tell me I'm wrong, and tell me everything is alright.
Cos this heart just don't seem to get things right.
Allow me to unwind somewhere far beyond.
Till I can see the reality I am on.

Pardon me for I had been down lately.
God knows the truth I've been through.
Give me some peace, that would be really greatful.

Don't worry, I should be fine in a few days time.
Seriously.
I'm just too emotional about things till I can't take it.
Thank god there's a few who were there to constantly try to perk me up.

I seek guidance from God to lighten up my gloomy heart and clear my troubled soul.
Amin.

A hope for change

A hope for a change

I've attended a 3 days 2 nights camp, and alot of things were clear.
It was definitely fun, and tiring of course, and full of craps and nonsense.
Land expedition, night activity, sea expedition, practicing of campfire item and low elements were all great.
Campfire was pretty a blast.
Instructors, were fun and outgoing.
Classmates were as usual; funny, cranky, lame, irritating, noisy and weird.
Despite their own personality, they choose to work together as a team and make the camp an adventurous and meaningful one.

But one thing caught upon me when our instructor, Kelvin aka Ah Huat, highlighted something about the difference in our class.
And exactly, that was what have been disturbing me all along. I hate to keep it. How many times i've tried, it fails.
Sometimes, people just do not wish to give in.
And some, do not wish to accept differences.
Some just choose to go their own way, oblivious to their own surroundings.
Some just think about their ownself.

It's surprising how over 2 days, Ah Huat is able to tell our own personality.
His life experience was definitely touching, cos that was what I've went through. But indirectly.
I couldn't hold back my tears. Cos he just relayed what I had longed trying to.
But whether the story told gives an impact to the class, depends on their willingness to give in and change.
Enough said.
Cos' no one really knows what I'm going through.

I'll end here for now.
Probably will blog about the fun memories we had.

I'll end with a song,
Angels brought me here by Guy Sebastian



I'm confused over my own decision.
I know I'm hurting my own friend.
But if my own friend, do not wish to give in to the surroundings,
I can do no less.
I hate the guilty feeling thrust upon me.
Cos, I still care for every human being I met although they do have differences.

17th Birthday

Today seems to be a special day for some people.
HAHA!
Well, today happen to be 2 of my friends birthday, Nur Amirah Bte Senin and Nadia.

Nur Amirah Bte Senin,
she's patient, understanding, just like a guardian angel sent from above.
I never met someone so sacrificing and understanding. (Well besides your own family member)
Thus, she deserves a tribute.

Inspired by Iffa's dedication last month,
I decided to list 17 things that makes her an angel:

1. Before i really know you, I always remembered how every morning, I would always see you and then kept thinkin "This girl again..." Then Sec 3 began and you were there to show me around and get me used to the new class which initially i thought was a total bore.

2. I remembered the Polar Puffs and Cakes work experience. How me and Khairin wld always drop at your stall and disturb you. HAHA!

3. Then came OBS. Our groups sorta Kayak-ed together. And I remembered how you lost your specs! HAHAHA XP I dont wanna say here. But you know what I mean :P

4. Once, we went out to Tampines Mall to look for present, and you were so sway! Everything you touched actually fell! HAHAHA! Tsk tsk tsk! And you got me the Marshmellow looking thing for my Birthday that we saw during that window shopping.

5. And i remembered how much you, Shikin and Khairin cared so much when I first fell, which apparently when my ACL tore.

6. We started to make our study group to study at Tampines North CC. That's where i guess, the 8 of us came closer.

7. For Japan Trip, you took the trouble to send us off althought it was as late as 10pm !!!

8. Oh yeah, and once Shik and Rin didnt come, and we both had our talk at Mama shop and "Promised" to go for the Singapore Flyer Confession Trip that never came true. So when's next?

9. On 28 July, I played soccer despite you, shikin and Khairin's advice not to. I fell again and you guys were the first ones at the scene.

10. How i was on crutches and you patiently waited every morning at the interchange to help me board the bus.

11. And the song you dedicated to me, "Januari 11" and "Your guardian angel" to keep me strong when I was down about my injury.

12. Once you were really sick in school in the morning, but you made the trouble to accompany me to Clarke Quay so that I can pass the tix to my brother.

13. The window shopping after Prelims, and how you laughed at my choice of taste. GRrr!!

14. Not to forget that you accompanied me all the way to Yio Chu Kang so that I can collect my NCC Uniform.

15. When we wanted to go jogging at Tampines Stadium and WE went into the guys changing room! HAHAHA!

16. Oh yeah, and you accompanied me to study during June09 at MP Library.

17. Last but not least, how you listened to my troubles and constantly giving advice to my troubled times.


Now these are only little actually, there's more than 17! But that would not make her 17 years old. HAHA!
She did not only touched my life, but infact others too.
She's definitely a hardoworking woman who is ALWAYS OPTIMISTIC about her life. She puts others before herself, and hopes the best for others. I would never forget this fine lady. Cos she is just like Operah.





Happy 17th Birthday Princess Mia!
I wish that you will have a greater life ahead, and hope that one day you will find someone who is there to shower you the sacrifice, trust and compassion that you had showered us for the past few years. It's a blessing having to meet a friend like you.
Will God bless you with the good deeds you have done.
Go go go AMILAH!!! Hope to see you on Saturday.

Oh yes, not to forget, Nadia!
Hahaha! Happy Birthday Pink Lady!

When you wind up lost

I'm sick and my Oral Presentation is drawing near.
Perfect.

There's alot of things running through my mind.
And I just can't seem to let it out.
I don't know how else I can express my feelings.
I just don't know who I really am anymore.

I don't know if i should be there for you.
Or leave you.
But both ways, I just feel terrible.
What kind of friend am I?

Everybody's changing.
And just I don't feel the same.


Was looking through my files, and was caught upon this.Sweet memories.10.10.08


As weeks goes by,
your image in my mind just keep fading.
But the thought of you still lingers in my mind.

Just leave me alone will do.
Maybe unwinding at Bedok Jetty tomorrow will help...