My health is deteriorating.
My head is always spinning and it feels pressurized.
Been popping pills into my mouth. But it doesn't take effect at all.

Feel like shooting myself in the head.
And hope everything would be over.
But NO.
It just keeps coming back.

I need to unwind.
Please.

Exhausted

I'm EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED after the strenuous physiotherapy session!

Well, yesterday after school went to jog at ECP till Bedok Jetty. Caught the sunset. Well, it was no on the coastline, but behind the tall buildings. But still, it was clear.

I'll make it a weekly routine. I'll jog every Fri evening, or Sat morning.

So physiotherapy today was tiring.

It was the same set of exercises, but my body could not take it.

Not sure why. Probably because i pushed myself to hard yesterday?

So Bambang was here today. Also Pauline. HEEE XD

Bambang was worried for me. He kept asking whether i was okay due to my wan face and palid lips. I smiled assuring that i'm still going on for more strenuous exercise.

But as I go for, I became more weaker.

My heart was pumping really rapidly.

I felt like I was at the verge of fainting.

Pauline: FATIN!! What happened to you? I never see you pancit so fast before. Usually you are the one so energetic.

Bambang: Yah, okay tak?

Fatin: Yah yah, I'm okay. Just tired uhh..

Pauline: Your leg tired or what?

Fatin: Umm.. no. My heart. HEHEHE XD

Pauline: Oh no.. what happen to my Energizer Bunny? Eh, (some other physiotherapist's Name), is it Energizer Bunny or Duracel?

(Physiotherapist): Duracel.

Pauline: Oh yah. What happened... My Duracel Bunny used to the one so energized.

Bambang: She forgot to recharge her battery lah.. HAHA!

Fatin: Ahh.. yah... battery flatt uhh.

Bambang: Go go, go drink water. Recharge abit.

Will have physiotherapy again next 3 weeks.

Hope I will be energized.

It would probably be my 2nd last session before I'll be discharge.

Strength test coming up.

Should i do well so that I can be discharged?

Or fake it so that I can go for more physiotherapy session?

Either way, it's not good. Hmms.

I was soo tired, I dragged myself home and slept from 2pm till 5pm today.

And now I'm at McCafe East Coast Park.

My main intention was to do research here. Research for Econs and also The Ministry of Health. But seems like I'm going nowhere. Plus, my Tablet Batt is left with 25%. Hmms.

Ohh.. I got something to share. It was long time ago that me and my cousin saw something cool.

It just popped out in my head recently.

What we saw was a t-shirt with the printing:

YouTube MySpace and I will Google your Yahoo!

Cool eh?

Just don't let me go.

I need a life

Summarising the first 3 days of July Week 3

Parade commanding. Temperature takings. Boring lectures. More tutorials. Body combat. Parade commanding again. Cocked up. Completely dry consecutive lectures. Long tutorials. Group work. Twitter. Fun malay remedial. Champions' Way. Parade commanding. Lecture. Angry. Completely silent. Interesting malay module. Funny malay module tutor. Confusing comprehension. Student Council. Council room. Spring cleaning. Totally fun. Champion's Way.

I was talking about something serious when..

Xiu Xian: Ehhh you change your braces
colour!
Louisa: Hey yah!
Fatin: I thought i changed long time ago?

Well, infact I don't even realise I'm wearing braces. Braceface.
Gotta take pic with SyayaFeeQuah cos she is changing her braces colour, similar to mine.
Hehe XD

And tomorrow is A Level Listening Comprehension.
Oohh gotta dig gold from my ear.
I just can't wait for Saturday.
Will be having Physiotherapy on that day with Bambang & Pauline.

I think I'm undergoing a mental breakdown.
Just having too many emotions at one go.
I'll be okay. Don't worry.

Screw up big time

Great.
Just great.
I screwed up A Level MT Oral.
We stared at each other, and i was frantically searching through my database for that stupid word when everything in my head crashed.
Our brains are like computer. It's just better.

And first term of week 3 never had been better.
I guess.
Results were pretty disappointing.
Passed Physics, Chemistry and Maths.
Failed Econs.
Worst, mother tougue.

Cheryl: You fail malay? Wah, you speak chinese at home is it?
Fatin: I speak Tamil ah..

And i guess that's the reason why i cocked up A level Oral.

The rest was pretty okay.
The stress level isn't high YET.
PE was hilarious.
I couldn't stop laughing at Michelle's mindset of "If I can't get the ball, so can't you".
So what she did was roll the ball out of the court. HAHA XD
She'll be a good bowler.

Back track to Monday when we girls- Hazirah, Nabisah, Mashyitah and Syafiqah went out to Bugis Junction to catch Transformers 2.
I had a great laugh man.

First, Syafiqah was late cos her clock was 1 hour late, we received a wrong timing ticket and got a pretty bad seat for Syafiqah. Since she has low tolerance of irritating kids, she must be damn pissed off when there's a squeling kid infront of her.

Oh about Transformers 2, I'll like to give a 2 thumbs up for it. It's fantastic.

Oh, on Thursday,
it was heart-rending.
The scene still plays at the back of my mind whereby the innocent white dog was being knock down by a car with my own naked eyes.
Called SPCA and then called NEA.
I wonder what happened to the carcass now.

The week has a pretty weird feeling to it.
I'm fully aware that I'm not a good friend towards you girl.
But I just want you to know that I'll always be by your side, giving you my full support.
Just don't do anything crazy.

Now when are we going out Amirah, Shikin, Khairin, Suhaimi, Izzat, Guo Yan and Ken?
Cos i really miss you guys.

[Swine flu song] Wash Your Hands Too (Parody of Wonder Girl's 'Nobody')


Was blog hopping when I found this cool stuffs.
It's even cooler cos Nobody is my favourite song. Hahas.

Have fun lads.

Saturday, 10.30am

The long walk from Outram Park MRT to SGH

Oh, today I would like to be emo.
Hahahaha! Okay wait, I can't imagine.

Physiotherapy @ SGH
Okay, I was pretty disappointed today.
Cos Bambang and a few other ACL patients were not there. So practically there was Joseph and this hot looking caucasian woman, Caroline. Trust me, the first time i saw her, i thought she was a guy.

The intensity was pretty much the same as previous weeks.
Oh I hate training the abs part. Cos it's damn terrible. Worst than twinkles and pumping position.

Fatin: Pauline, where is the others?
Pauline: I also don't know. Probably at home sleeping?
Fatin: Then Bambang?
Pauline: Bambang MC. He got 6 days MC.
Fatin: He kena H1N1 or what?
Pauline: No lah. Just that now if any of the hospital personale got flu like symptoms, they give us like 3 - 7 days MC? Yeahh.. Sigh.
.
.
Pauline: Fatin, when was your operation?
Fatin: 29... 29 December
Pauline: Wah, like that 6 months already. So you have to take your test next session.
Fatin: Huh...*give the sad face*
Pauline: Eh, but next session alot of people taking test. Hmm, too pack
Fatin: Then nevermind ah! I do test the next 3 weeks. Can?
Pauline: Haiyah.. okay lah.. see first
Fatin: Yay!! HEHEHEHE XD

When my leg was pretty imobalised

When I have to ice my leg 3 times a day

When I could only manage to bend this much

When this became a suspense

When he keeps me companied(He is gone by the way. He is missed by me.)
Alrighto, I'm currently enjoying life for a moment
Like Bambang always say: Take a breather.
And Shikin saying: Hidup mau chill...

But, I gotta start on tutorials and reading up pass lecture notes and filing up back my notes so as to prepare for the next semester. Not forgetting.. EOM!!! Ohhh sharts.

And I'm looking forward to Monday. Hmm.

What? Ohhh...

CONVERSATIONS

Today was my last paper.
Dont wanna talk much bout it. Only my results will tell how much i have done. Pretty bad i guess.

So anyway, what kind got me laughing today was quite a number of things.
Well, mainly the conversations i had with a few people.

Fatin: GOOD MORNING EVERYONEE!! I'm proud to announce that I've paid $100 for my school fees. And now left with $600 plus.
Ratheshan: Wahh so pro ahh.
Jin Hui: Eh.. you got pay A Level Fees already anot?
Fatin: HUH WHAT??!? A LEVEL FEES? PAY BY WHEN?
Jin Hui: Today if i'm not mistaken.
Fatin: WHATT?? waaa..... WAHLAU WEII.. Why I go pay school fees first?!? Jin Hui, all your fault lah never tell me earlier.

So i got so fed up with myself, i kept repeating
"Why I go pay school fees first? Should pay O Level fees!"
And yes, i did say O Level fees and they laughed at me.

Mr Chang: Okay guys, if you misplace your entry proof, you have to pay $5 to get another one printed. And if got ammendments after today, you have to pay $50.
Xue Qin: Wahh.. why so expensive one?
Ratheshan: Because they need the money because people like Fatin never pay school fees!
Fatin: Hahaha! Wahlau..

Anyway, after paper, headed home.
Played computer like never played before.
Then met up with Izzat and Karan for swimming at 7.30pm.

Fatin: Wah Karan, why you damn tall ah.
Karan: I don't know. I don't like to be tall. It's not nice. It's too tall.
Izzat: Because you know that you dont deserve to be look up at right...
Karan: Oii
Izzat: Then if Fatin, people look down.
Fatin: Ehh, I don't deserve to be look down at that's why I want to grow tall
Izzat: Ok lah.. at least people LOOK at me. Ahhhh...

So headed home after 9pm.
And then received message from Amirah.
Fatin: Check out http://www.yellowribbon.org.sg/ for the run on 6 Sept.
Amirah: We must sign up before 7 july if not have to pay $25. So how?
Fatin: Donno. HAHA! I thinking twice. Cos it's fasting month and also the jersey is sleaveless.
Amirah: Yeah that's why. What you think?
Fatin: I think don't need ah. We go Bedok Reservoir and run ah.

That conversation shows that I'm such a frickle minded person.
Hahah sorry Amirah for wasting your time and text messages.

Oh, then received message from 56th platoonmates regarding the Streetwise Run this Sunday.
Now I'm confused whether to go or not.
So asked Indra whether he is going.

Indra:
- name run streetwise run
- agaknye dont take drugs kind of streetwise thing?
- entah lah cuu
- tok pun tak paham
- kalau turun pun jadi crowd controller
Fatin:
- Hahaha ape ni tok dgn cu?
.
.
.
Indra:
- help out in crowd controlling most probably lah tu
- takkan nak lari skali kan
- tapi boleh gak kan lari
- kau kan champion
- hahaha
Fatin:
- hahahahahahaha!!!!

Yeah, the conversation between Indra was kinda funny.
Well, he is a funny guy. He onced asked me to help him in his school work regarding watermelons. HAHA XD

Anyway, yeah, abit of conversations between the people in my life.
Pretty lame I know, but it got me laughing at my ownself.

And the fact that i have to uphold this email - runner_champion
kinda scares me.
It's some random name I thought of during primary school and having to live with it now is abit pressurizing. I would probably change. Hmm...

On the other hand, I'm performing pretty well in terms of running and swimming now.
Swam at the 1.8m deep pool and it was damn nice lah. No wonder Guo Yan once said the competition pool is nicer than normal 1.2m pool.
But my leg hurts. It's having fever now. Well, basically it means that my knee is feeling hot.

Also, have physiotherapy tomorrow. Gonna meet Bambang and Pauline again!
Oh yeah, they are the best therapist I've met so far.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't give up. I will keep moving forward.
Like Azyan said before: Take it slowly, but surely.