I didn't mean to fall in love with you

I would be seating for my Mother Tougue A Level in less than 48 hours, and here I am blogging about nitty gritty details in my life.
But I guess, these nitty gritty reflections of mine would make a huge impact on me later in my life when I look back to read this. Yes, I planned to keep this blog as long as I could. And probably let the future generations read. Let this be their stepping stone in life.
Get what I mean? Nvm..

Life has been complicated nowadays.
Somewhere along the week, I felt like i was down in my dungeon.
Emo-ing, losing the value of life. I was immune to my surroundings.

Then reality hit me like a brutal slap on the face.

What is my goal now? What WAS my goal earlier on?
Recently, I came upon this goal lists of this guardian lady, Amirah.
Allow me to list a few:
- To make a difference in people's life
- To make people smile and laugh

I was dumbfounded.
Because that were the goals I had in mind about a year ago.
What happened to it?
Well, I guess I was too caught up with things till I was oblivious about the goals in life.
These goals aren't just any "Get good grades" kind of goal.
Cos these goals in life leads you somewhere. These goals defines who you really are.
And these goals tells you the true meaning in life.

And I would definitely wouldn't allow one person to destroy these goals in my life.
Thank you Amirah, for you had made me realise what are my true goals. And congrats, because you just made a difference in my life.

I'm looking forward to shift back with Mum.
Where there's one whole complete family, just like it used to be.
Also, it calls the need to go sch with Syayafeequah!!
Hold on there buddy, we will go through it together.
But I just can't for now. Maybe after OP. Shifting house is very tiring and distracting.

Anyway..
One wise man once told me,
If you don't love yourself, how do you expect others to love you?
So, I LOVE MYSELF! I love the way I am.
Curly hair, big ears, hideous scars on the legs, or even being short,you name it!
God create me to be this way, and I shall treasure it.
No point trying to blend in, cos in the end you will be just like the others.
It's who you truly are, that makes you unique.
We are born to be different.

And many asked if I'm in love.
Honestly, yes, I'm in love. But this love is different.
It is a missing kind of love. But not that love love you know?
Well basically they made an extremely huge impact in my life, and it is hard to let go,
because I'm aware that I would never see 'em again.
Cos' they say: You learn to value them only after they are gone.
p.s they,'em are infact my therapists.

Ok let's side track back to the interesting parts in life.
I think I'm getting better in MELAYU! With the help from Cikgu Ain, Syafiqah ZA, Amirah, and my kawan-kawan yang aku telah bertutur dalam bahasa melayu sejak kebelakangan ini.
(picture taken at Japan, Kyushu)

It's never about how fast you get there.
But rather how far you get there.It's a long way to the top.Just keep pushing on.

The truth hurts.
But it hurts even more
when you realise someone is just using you.

Time spent with love one is a BLISS

Diligently doing my homework while they played bowling XP
Studied for long hours till my eyesight goes bad

After long torturous periods of mugging and rushing through WR,
I manage to take a breather from all of that.
Time spent with my Family, Secondary Friends and JC Friends for 3 consecutive days was spectacular.

Friday @ Recce trip to SGH
Headed to SGH with Jin Hui, Kevan and Danial. Apparently Kevan and Danial was there to accompany us. Took pictures, walked around the campus, went for HEALTHY food shopping at Pharmacy and then headed to Funan for Dinner. Ate KFC and talked like nobody's business and realised it was late - 9.30pm! I was frantically panicking, seriously. What's worst was my prepaid was low! Couldn't contact Mum. Reached home, Mum called, Mum yelled, explained to Mum, Mum relaxed, Mum says Good Night sleep tight.

That talk at that night was an eye opener. Confession time they say.
Haha, love that talk.

I looked back. Looked again.
And again. And again.
Hoping to catch a glance.
For one last chance.
Hoping that what i dream would come true.
How i wish i could see you.
I looked back again. And again.
But all I saw was an empty hall way
with strangers passing by.
And I just wonder why,
Why...
did I..
fall in love with you?
-By Fatin Hanani


Saturday @ Impak Maksima The Musical at Esplanade
So was "forced" to wear a dress. That's the worst part actually.
And when meeting them I was late because I was kinda caught up with WR, my prepaid was low and it just seemed so hard to walk in a dress! Hahas. Was kinda shy and felt pretty insecure. Don't know why.

Met Amirah and dined at PIZZAHUT! (Oh gosh, my wish to eat at PizzatHut really came true yeah? Well, apparently, I told Danial and posted at Twitter my cravings for PizzaHut)

Well, my kampong friends gave me a bag pack too! Yeap, love it too! Shall change it alternate weeks. Haha!
Ok, the best part was the CARD. It was a very CREATIVE card!

Since I was crazy over Lewis Hamilton, they actually made a photo of me and him! HAHA! It was hilarious! So thoughtful of you guys. Thanks a million! I love it!

Went Esplanade and watch this open performance of Malay Contemperary Dance by Yio Chu Kang Sec and NJC or MJC? .. Yeah some JC. It was fantastic! Especially by the JC. They actually did hand stand! And was kinda attracted with one of the male dancers. HAHA! Oops :X

At 8pm, went to the threater for Impak Maksima the Musical.
I shall not destroy the whole wonder of it, but they actually brought a REAL DRIFTING CAR ONTO THE STAGE AND DID DRIFTING ON THE STAGE INFRONT OF THE WHOLE AUDIENCE!!! Isn't it cool? I mean, it is hard to drift and they could do it on such a constrain space. The main character was hot! And Amirah fell for him- Dollah Kasmat (Kamal Adli). HAHA! So Mia, Kamal Adli or Ahmad Muslim?

Had autograph session and Izzat was on cloud no. 9 taking picture with hot girls yeah? Once I saw him taking picture with 3 girls! HAHA!

Took pictures together and left. And how i hoped we could spend time longer. But it was really late. And on the journey home, I just couldn't help but to think of what had happened for the day. Indeed, I enjoyed.



Amirah, Me, Khairin
Shikin, Suhaimi, Izzat

Sunday @ Family breakfast together
Mum missed us so much, she wanted to eat Breakfast with us - me two brothers and me.
Ate KFC am meal. And I just love the time spent with them. Then I wondered, when was the last time we really had a proper meal together as a family?




2nd Bro, Muhaimin, who claims that he looks like Lewis Hamilton in this picture
(He just had his hair shaved for NS)


Mum calling aunty


1st bro, Haidhir, who keeps calling me Jack

Monday @ Morning swim with cuzzy, Iffa Hashim

So swim swim swim swim ate McDonalds' swim swim swim ate McDonald's again swim swim swim swim swim go Jaccuzzi swim swim swim go sun tanning swim swim swim shower.

Lunched at Frolick at Tampines 1 by eating Yoghurt with our own toppings. It's delicious! Shall bring my friends there.

So we succumbed to the lure of the Body Shop sale.
Fatin: What you getting here?
Iffa: I don't know. Maybe just lip bum then we'll go off.
Fatin: You wanna que this long for just one stick of lip bum?
Iffa: *Whines*...can somebody just help me buy?
Body Shop worker: *looked and giggled*
And yes, the que is freaking long we had to take 1 big round just to enter that place. Okay maybe length of 6 buses?

God knows how grateful I am to be blessed with such great family and friends.
Alhamdulilah.




Psst!! Isn't this red bag charmingly hot?!? HAHA!
Not to forget, I have a gorgeous brown bag too.

And finally, a breath of fresh air.

Mmmmhhhmmmm... feels good!

I shan't talk about the papers. What's done is done.
We'll see the results.
But what's for sure, I didn't give my 100% in preparing. Sighh. Oh well.

So...
I'm seventeen, should be wiser and.. still got 1 year to grow.
Short term goal? - GROW TALLER! Milk, skip, milk, skip, milk, skip.
That should do good.

Anyway, I'm touched by my cousin's dedication at her blog - http://ohmygoodnessgracious-me.blogspot.com/ . It's infact 17 things she remembers during our childhood times.
So sweet! ^^
Uploaded with past photos which i never knew about! You guys should take a look if you wanna have a good laugh on how boisterous I was, plus that REAL afro hair i had.

Thanks Iffa Hashim. I love you, and yes, I always wanted you as my sister. Though we kinda faught over little things alot of times, and to think back now, it's really funny how we faught you see? Hahaha! Sweet old times. Sighh.

Yesterday, was surprised by a birthday gift given by 5 lovely classmates of mine, namely, Nadia, Ratheshan, Sufyan, Danial and Nasirrudin.
They actually gave me a back pack for school. And brown in colour!
Yay! Seriously, I wanted a new school bag.
Asked bro if that bag was nice,
he said : Obviously lah! Better than your Deuter bag right! At least now you look more like a girl.
Nyahaha!

Anyway, looks like October is a month whereby alot of people are born i guess.
Geez, so lively. Every single day, there's borne to be someone's birthday.

What's up new today is...
my class had lunch together at PizzaHut!
Well, only 14. Cos 3 of em have geog while the rest couldn't make it.
Sure did have fun! Cam-whoring and just simply disturbing one another.
To top it up, there's free flow of Pepsi and obviously we had our own free flow of cheese.
It all started by Cheryl who put a mountain of cheese in her mushroom soup. Haha!



Yeaps, and we went off happily ever after.

I love tunning to 95.0 FM with Yas.
So kinda learnt stuffs about the people you love.
One message i heard was,
Have you ever wondered why you are so nice to strangers but not to the ones that really love you- family members? Well basically, we humans tend to take granted for the love showered upon us EVERY day. We know that they are always there to love us, hence, we tend to ignore or play with their feelings. But once they are gone, that's when you would feel the greatest lost in your life.

From that, I would always tresure my time with my loved ones especially my family, as they are the ones who care for me than any other, and they are the ones who defines happiness. They are the ones who bred me to become who I really am today.
So do treasure your time with your family to the fullest.

11.10.09 -A perfect date to get older

Ohhh gosh, I'm so touched, I couldn't sleep last night,
and I'm so touched, I just have to blog about it.

Although I was kinda turned off my the service i received for redeeming my FREE Frappe at McCafe -She didn't smile or wished me Happy Birthday! And even gave the Frappe unsincerely :( Well, cos bro once told me when he claimed his Free Frappe, they smiled and wished him Happy Birthday.

Oh well, don't bother bout it. She must have a bad day. At least I received my FREE Frappe. HEHE.

Oh-oh, went to bed at 11.30pm. Toss and turned and received a message.
In my mind was: Haiyah... who sms so late??
And it was Cheryl Sim Miao Fang wishing me.
Honestly, I kinda forgot that it was my birthday. I guess I was too stressed up and worried over phy and chem.
Followed by Nadia, Amirah, Husna and Ratheshan.
Then realised it is 1am. And fell asleep.

So recently, i opened my email and i was touched by the flooding of birthday wishes from Facebook. And then I was even more touched, I wonder how do i reply to all of em.

Anyway, I just miss the way my family would celebrate everyone of our's birthday.
We would order boxes of pizza and eat it till we will go bloated.
Sadly, not this year.

How I spent my birthday?
- Mugging for Phy & Chem, enjoying Himalayan Tea Frappe and touched by the overwhelming wishes.

Thus, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you guys who wished me through SMS, Facebook and through a call. Thank you so much!
It really made my day, and yes, I did have a Happy 17th Birthday :D
Alhamdulilah.

Choices

One wise man once told me;
In life, there's a choice.
Each morning, you wake up, you either choose to bring a heavy heart
or you choose to lighten up your life and make people around you happy.
Although it is easier said than done,
I believe everyone is blessed with choices to make.
And how you deal with it, defines who you really are.

This week had been so efft - ed up.
My heart was lost and was frantically searching for answers.
I lost someone's trust upon me, and screwed life.
And kept wondering if I really am a good friend.
Or was I just too naive?

Enough said. I was wrong.

On the brighter side of life,
my classmates have been pretty crappy these few days.
Probably too stressed up for Mid Cse till they had to do something silly.

Harbinder: Rat, your paper got red marks right.
Ratheshan: Yah.. so?
Harbinder: Means your paper got period.
*Whole class burst out in laughter*
Mdm Zalinah: Harbinder.. the paper is not a living thing!
.
.
After sometime thinking about that funny moment,
Fatin: Eh, Jen, even mammals got period ah? Tiger, dog and all that?
Jennifer: Yah they have.
Fatin: Huh?!? Serious or what? Then how?
Jennifer: Not sure, but I know they have.
.
.
Fatin: Cheryl, your dog is a female eh?
Cheryl: Yah, my dog is a bitch.
Fatin: Haha, then your dog got period?
Cheryl: Huh? Don't know lehh..
Fatin: Cher, animals got period?
Mdm Zalinah: They do? I'm not so sure.. they
have?
Xue Qin: Yah. they have.
Mdm Zalinah: Then how?
Xue Qin: Then it would just drip all over the house or
something like that.

Serious or what right?
Tsk tsk. Honestly, I never knew.

Everyone is so stressed up with Mid Course.
Late night sleeps, eye bags, stiff necks, you name it.

And so captures of crappy but lovely classmates,


When the guys just had to result to violence
on our body combat instructor, Sebestian,
during his last day with us before he migrates


And Kevan trying to emo in the shelves


Plus having total gays in class
Starring: Khai Jhin, Sufyan and Jin Hui

And the cute Cheryl Sim Miao Fang who fell asleep during lunch

Oh yeah, one my toe nails is completely purplish blue. Oh well, blue black actually.
And it's due to the improper style of running.
Pisssh..
Well, at least it feels better.

Jin Hui once mentioned: Fatin's blog is all about either, physiotherapy, running or just sad post.

Hahaha, okay, I shouldn't be able to blog about physiotherapy anymore though.
And yes, i do still miss em.
Well, i hope today's post is something different. Hehe.

It takes time,
living a world with don't know who to trust.