Another tough yet tiring day has gone.School was normal but just dont understand Mrs Kho explaination.Today had NCC.Seriously,i have no single mood and knowing who I am,and what has happened.That's why people pass by me would notice I'm abit to the sad side.Going for NCC and just seat one side is dead bored.Just imagine,watching people marching and have no one to talk to,well except Bariah.Then Hanisah asked whether I want to participate cause she is choosing for the CCA Fair and Speech Day i guess.So,it was fine with me as long as i don't run.Its really tough.And especially when we have to FLY to another place.Then,i would obviously feel odd when im not running.So as i ran,i could feel the unbaring pain at my knee.Such a terrible thing to experience.I always would be the 1st to reach,but now..last.It didn't brought me to any mood of talking to people.My dreams are ruin,and hope to be brought back again.My aim and my goals,are far away from my expectation.Such a tragic thing..
Break,drank water and all that.I reported sick cause,i dont feel like particapating and my leg hurts more than any cut does.Fadillah came and she made some silly jokes.It really gave me lots of stiches.Me and Bariah couldn't stop laughing.Then the other cadets look at us cause we were laughing like hell.Showed my stich to Jiaen and she almost freak out.Hahaha!Told Mr Sin about my op. Asked him about what i wanted to,but he didn't seems to take it seriously.He said "Chopped it off"It wasn't a joke to me cause i really am worried.It didn't want me to talk to him.Well,guess he can't help.I feel like screaming.Don't feel like talking to Mdm Punitham bout this.I don't want her to bring me to the counseller.I feel so terrible and never had felt like this bad before.No,not thinking of commit suicide.That would never be in my list.But,i just felt everything is ruined.So RUINED till I just don't think i ever get to my goal.
Argh!Stupid,pathetic,dumb,moron ! I shouldn't have gone for the operation.Its all a regret! Mann...i feel useless than ever!I feel like giving up!I feel like give up on myself ! I never be what i wanted.I will never get what i want i guess..
Crying now,and also deep in my heart.I hate of who i am now.Scream,shout,cry was all at the back of my mind.Bring me back to reality..Get the actually me back.Will never happen....
Heart sinks and courage gone.The humourousity has vanished.Happiness change to sadness.Pathetic me.Help..is all i can say..~Adious
Break,drank water and all that.I reported sick cause,i dont feel like particapating and my leg hurts more than any cut does.Fadillah came and she made some silly jokes.It really gave me lots of stiches.Me and Bariah couldn't stop laughing.Then the other cadets look at us cause we were laughing like hell.Showed my stich to Jiaen and she almost freak out.Hahaha!Told Mr Sin about my op. Asked him about what i wanted to,but he didn't seems to take it seriously.He said "Chopped it off"It wasn't a joke to me cause i really am worried.It didn't want me to talk to him.Well,guess he can't help.I feel like screaming.Don't feel like talking to Mdm Punitham bout this.I don't want her to bring me to the counseller.I feel so terrible and never had felt like this bad before.No,not thinking of commit suicide.That would never be in my list.But,i just felt everything is ruined.So RUINED till I just don't think i ever get to my goal.
Argh!Stupid,pathetic,dumb,moron ! I shouldn't have gone for the operation.Its all a regret! Mann...i feel useless than ever!I feel like giving up!I feel like give up on myself ! I never be what i wanted.I will never get what i want i guess..
Crying now,and also deep in my heart.I hate of who i am now.Scream,shout,cry was all at the back of my mind.Bring me back to reality..Get the actually me back.Will never happen....
Heart sinks and courage gone.The humourousity has vanished.Happiness change to sadness.Pathetic me.Help..is all i can say..~Adious
posted by Fatin Hanani @ 8:55 PM
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