A Teens - Heartbreak Lullaby

In the still of the night
I can almost feel you lying next to me
Like it used to be And it's hard to let go
When there's always something there reminding me
How things could be

I've tried to get you off my mind
I've tried to play my part
But every time I close my eyes
You're still inside my heart

Why can't I laugh
Why must I cry
Every time we say goodbye
Why does it rain
Here in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Why can't it be
Just you and me
What will it take to make you see
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

Like the stars in the sky
You still keep on shining down your light on me
but out of reach
And I know that in time
You will come back to your senses,
see the signs
And change your mind

I try to look the other way
And keep my heart on hold
But every time I'm close to you
I lose my self control

Why can't I laugh
Why must I cry
Every time we say goodbye
Why does it rain
Here in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Why can't it be
Just you and me
What will it take to make you see
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

This song got me emoing and I cried as i listened to this song.
Well, it has different meanings to it. First of all, i know it's a break up song. But try to put it at another kind of scenario.

I had a shock of my life as i read the text message given by my mum early in the Sunday(12/4) morning.
The news rendered me speechless as I wished it's all a dream.
Reality hit my like a brutal slap in the face when i received a call from Mum.
"Fatin, Atuk(grandfather) has passed away.."

I was filled with remorse as I had initially planned to visit him on Sunday(12/4) itself in the hospital. However, Friday(10/4) was the last time i saw him breathe.
Due to some complications in certifying his death, the body was only brought home on Monday(13/4) and had his burial done on Monday.

He was a very nice man. And a loving grandfather. I could vividly remember how he always calls me "Patin Patong". And how me and my cousins would crash in his bedroom to watch the old movies with him. And also, how i cuddle him everytime we watch a scary movie. He may not be on earth now. But he is always in my heart.

Tuesday
As i came back to school, many asked what happened to me on Monday. I'm grateful for their concerns. But every time i tell what happened, my heart starts to ache, and there's this stinging feeling on my eyes.

The rest of the days were spent like usual. I tried to put up a mask to my sorrowfulness. I was also suffering from an exhaustion of lacking of sleep.

I couldn't say much or complain bout my life.
Cos this was what I've chosen, I'll bare with it.

And Dad said "It's only 2 years Fatin. Just give your best shot. You can enjoy later."
It touched me.

Then today's Chemistry Enrichment Talk was pretty boring.
The only thing i remembered was the last sentence of the talk,
"What's your passion?"