I'm gonna do what it takes

At first I felt like my world is tuning upside down.
What subjects? What course? What's my future?

I prayed to god, to show the right path for me.
I cried out of confusion.
I screamed (and really screamed) at my mother.
I scolded my father.
I tried ignoring my granny.

So, I could take life anymore.
Cos I wasn’t strong enough to face the influence and demands of others.

Then, I took a long walk, yeah long because I walked too slow.
Walked to East Coast Park. ALONE. No one to help me.
It was awkward of course. The stares. I know how Amirah feels now.
But there weren’t many people on the beach. Just like Pasir Ris.
Wished I could go further to the shore, but was afraid. My leg mahh...

Brought myself a Caramel Frappe and Fries.
It was very refreshing. And slowly walked home.

Then, chatted with a few people. Laughed at Hui Peng. It was a good laugh.
Sorry Peng. Well, she put first three of her choices as Tampines JC.
In the end cannot. And I thought she was joking bout putting the repeated choices.
Okay lame.

All of the sudden, there was the urge to chat with Nabil.
And he gave me a solution I never thought will be.
He also assured me.
“So what other people say about JCs and stuffs? It’s my life, my choice, and why do the others care? It’s what I want. I’ll go for it.”
He said something like that. Which I was kinda touched with.
And he was there to give me support.
Thanks Nabil. I felt much better after that.
Now, I’m going for what I’ve always wanted. I’m gonna do what it takes to get it.

Thanks to Allah, my caramel frappe and Nabil.
Also, Hui Peng, Khairin, Suhaimi and Yi Ling.
Cause you guys were there to hear me for my toughest part of my life.

Anyway, brother’s friend from New Zealand who is an Indonesian muslim,
is staying here, at my house, till Friday!!! Well, my brother’s friend from New Zealand happens to be his ICEP NCC host when he went to New Zealand in 2005.
Will tell more bout him later on. He is nice.

I toss and turn all night. Thinking bout it.
Dreaming how it will be.
Replaying the scene over and over again.
And reminisce back to the other times.
My heart beat rapidly, and I went to sleep.

I’m in love
with the song Westlife – Close.

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
When I'm in your arms, I need you to know
I've never been, never been
This close

I'll spread my wings till I learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till i touched the sky